2/27/2011

Baffling Pregnancy Products


There are some truly ridiculous pregnancy products out on the market today. While I understand that expectant mothers may want to create some keepsakes and mementos of such a big event, I daresay that there are a few memories that may not really be worth memorializing and reliving.

Recently I joined zulily, a Gilt Group-style sample sale site dedicated to products for children and maternity. While zulily has great sales on lots of wonderful products (email me if you want an invite!), from time to time they do hawk some rather ridiculous products. This week, the belly casts on offer from Proud Body take first prize in my (very unofficial) "Baffling Pregnancy Products" contest.

A belly cast. Really?! For starters, the process for making a belly cast would be not only a bit ridiculous, but potentially uncomfortable. The last thing I really want to do right now is get naked and drape wet plaster across my giant belly and then let it dry (itchy!). And once it dries...what exactly am I supposed to do with it? Well, I suppose you could always perk up that plain plaster cast with some paint:


These look like baby shower games gone very, very wrong.

And again....then what?! Am I going to hang this up in my house with pride? Not a chance. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I'll go ahead and say it: they're all kind of, well, hideous (though I'll admit the  frog is a rather clever use of the shape). Beyond that though, what an incredibly awkward (and personal) thing to show off to friends and neighbors. "Oh that? That's just my naked torso when I was 39 weeks pregnant with Junior -- weren't my breasts magnificent?" Talk about embarrassing Junior.


I mean, I've heard of bronzing baby shoes, but this is just ridiculous....

And no, I'm not ashamed of my pregnancy body. In fact, I'm rather proud of it given that I've managed to keep my weight gain to about 20 lbs., the bulk of which is in my bump, as it should be. That said though, I don't really feel the need to immortalize it in plaster.


Second prize goes to the Mommy Measure Pregnancy Tape. I spied this one in a parenting magazine I was flipping through at my OB/GYN's office last week. Now, you can track your growing belly's progress, marking off those inches with little hearts. Seriously. This can't be a big seller. Most women I know don't even want to know their weight at the doctor's office!

Frankly, I found it upsetting enough to realize that not only did I no longer fit into my own jeans, but I didn't fit into my husband's either (and, at this point, I'm not even close to that). I just can't picture myself pulling this sucker out in a few years time and marveling at how at one point my waistline passed 38" (and then 40"...) inches!

What about you? Spied any baffling pregnancy products out on the market? If so, please share!

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