Plannin' and Dreamin'...

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'
Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms
That won't get him into my arms

Okay, so I may be taking some liberties with the old Dionne Warwick song, but the essential message is the same: if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I'm 39 weeks pregnant today, 4 cm dilated and waiting for everything to start. I went to see my OB/GYN yesterday and she expressed surprise that I was still pregnant. Trust me, after several false starts over the past 3 weeks, I'm surprised, too. Even my Gmail seems surprised, as these past two weeks I've ceased receiving my weekly prenatal updates from various and sundry websites that I've been perusing during pregnancy.

Yes, I know, I'm not even technically at my due date yet, but with everyone in my family delivering early (even with the first one), I half expected to be in a similar boat. After weeks of co-workers marveling "you're still here?!" and daily texts from family and friends alike "just checking in," I can't help but feel a bit of pressure to get on with things -- as if I had any control of it!

Well, I suppose I have some control of it. These days an induction after 39 weeks is offered up as an option without any required medical need whatsoever. And that makes me a bit nervous. Shouldn't we wait until the baby is good and ready? Isn't it also true that the average pregnancy actually runs longer than the 40 weeks allocated to women by their doctors? The answer to both is "yes"...and yet....

Now that I find myself at this late stage of pregnancy, I'm suddenly very sympathetic with women who elect to make this decision. Indeed, there's some comfort in having a firm deadline, in being able to wrap up things at the office in a definitive manner without the vague (and often unhelpful) "I'll be here 'til the baby comes...whenever that is" response. A response, by the way, that my clients have not been particularly receptive of. Everybody likes a due date, a deadline, a goal. Letting nature take its course is so antithetical to modern life, where we attempt to control everything. Patience and flexibility just don't seem to jive with our schedules.

So what have I decided to do? Well, I've currently got an induction scheduled for Friday, which would require Dave and I to show up at the hospital at the unholy hour of 4 am in the hopes of having a baby sometime before COB (close of business) on Friday. Very convenient for my doctor, yes? I'm justifying this decision on account of my (normally very low) blood pressure having creeped up in the past few weeks. While not at dangerous levels, this upward trend is somewhat worrisome. In the interim, I'm working from home, walking twice a day and praying to God that he'll come of his own volition. If not? Then I suppose I'll let Science take his course and pray that I'm not making the wrong decision.